How to ask, How to say, It's OK

I'm writing this from an apartment we're renting in Oregon.  It's a VRBO, detached from the host's house on 40 acres of hilly, heavily wooded property.  Very secluded and private, accessible only by a long winding driveway through the woods.  I can image the hosts not bothering wearing anything, anywhere on the property on warm days when they don't have guests.  If so, renting out the apartment on nice days like this would be a real drag.  They're usually gone during the day on weekdays, but they sometimes show up out of the blue.  So other than sunning myself on the upstairs deck where I wouldn't be seen and being able to hear them when they come up the drive, we've kept ourselves covered up.

Poking around the VRBO and AirBnB sites you'll find very few references to naturist friendly offerings.  I suspect that more owners would welcome such use, if only so they didn't have to remain clothed themselves.  But it's probably a turn-off to many potential guests if it was even hinted that the option was available.  And it would probably be a turn-off to the majority of owners if guests outright asked "can we be nude here"?".

I suppose I could kid around with the hosts and say something along the lines:  "Your property is so secluded that it must be hard to wear clothes on warm days around here".  That would probably be taken as a bit odd, yet not direct enough to trigger a give and take about whether they really use it that way, and whether we'd be welcome to do the same.

Thinking about that, how would I hint that the option was available without turning off other guests, assuming I couldn't afford to rent to just naturists?  Perhaps I'd just mention in the paperwork at the time of rental that the property is completely private and though we'd normally be casual about being undressed, that we'd remain clothed unless we were told it's OK for us not to be.  But that you, of course, are free to dress or undress to the level of your comfort here, anytime.  I suspect some guests would tell the owners that it's OK if they're nude, but would stay clothed themselves  While others might try being nude, but they'd prefer the owners not be.

At home, we have a whimsical sign posted on our patio about skinny-dipping.  It sometimes triggers guests to halfheartedly ask if we actually did that ourselves. When it does, we simply say yes.  That when we don't have guests over, we don't wear anything in the pool or hot tub, and leave it at that. A few guests have asked if they could join us that way, and they have.  Likewise, if a family comes over, the kids want to go swimming, but drat, they didn't bring their swimsuits, we say it's OK that don't wear anything and leave it at that.  Sometimes the kids get to skinny-dip, but most of the time their parents don't let them.  Probably because they don't want their kids to even think that's a legitimate option.

I'm usually more direct and usually have a "Clothing Optional Zone" sign posed.  But my wife usually puts it away when we know we're having guests.  My sister-in-law often comes by the house to look in on things when we're away.  She knows we only use the pool and tub that way, and that I love to lay out in the back yard naked.  So when we leave, I remind her that she's free to use the pool and be out in the yard anytime, but that it would be a shame if she didn't take advantage of being naked there when we're gone.  I don't know if she's ever taken advantage of that, but I know the kids have when we were away,.  At least individually, until they left the nest.

Hot Springs Etiquette

Umpqua Hot Springs

We're on an extended road trip across the country and last week we stopped by a couple of hot springs here in Oregon.  Both were noted on web sites and by the signage there as being "clothing optional".  But it was obvious from the comments on the various web sites that a lot of people don't like the nudity (the "hippy-dippy naked people") they encounter.  We didn't have a lot of time, so we concentrated on just the two most popular public springs where nudity was supposed to be common.

Leading up to the forth of July weekend, we encountered a lot of people but only a few who were nude at Umpqua hot springs.  It was awkward.  The few who were nude tried to stay away from the textiles and their families, reaching for towels and covering parts of themselves up as they entered and left their tubs.  With my not wanting to put on my bathing suit (I reluctantly brought it) and my wife absolutely refusing to wear hers, we waited for an open tub far away enough from others that they wouldn't see us once we were in the somewhat murky water.

That didn't help.  A large clothed family settled into the tub next to us.  They seemed grudgingly OK with us not wearing anything, and I wasn't going to waste my time scurrying for a towel and trying to cover my bits as we moved into another basin.  Grrr...

It wasn't as I had hoped, but the next day we tried the other spring (Cougar Hot Springs).  What a difference.  A woman at the trail head collected our $6 each and asked us straight up if we were aware that the spring is clothing optional.  I smiled and said yes (thank you).  She answered questions, was very pleasant, and was there to watch the cars in the parking lot.  The outfit she works for cleans the springs on Thursday mornings.  Fortunately, it was Friday afternoon.  Unfortunately, it was the Friday going into the forth of July weekend, so there was even more people at that spring.

When we arrived at the spring after a short hike, it was wonderful to see that almost everyone there was nude, happy, and perfectly at ease.  People came, took their clothes off, socialized, and casually moved around no differently than if they were at a nudist resort.  Most of the time we were there the only people who were not completely nude was a few older couples and a couple of guys who were part of a large mixed group of otherwise happily naked young adult friends.  For some reason, those guys decided to keep their shorts on even though the other men and the women with them (who outnumbered the guys) stayed happily nude.

A couple of young (probably only 16 or so) girls came later and joined us.  I assume they grew up as nudists or at least grew up being nude in hot springs.  My wife was concerned about them coming on their own, but to tell you the truth, I felt they were much safer around the people there than around the people at the first spring.  One large older full blooded looking native american was there that my wife thought was a bit creepy around the girls, but I found him to be rather majestic.  There was a German, a Polish, and a Japanese couple there, about our age.  All chatty and fine with everybody being nude.

But most of the people there were young (20's, early 30's) with only a few being loose couples and the others being part of the large group of friends.   All very friendly and social.  We stayed several hours, chatted with just about everyone, and hated to leave.  Just as we left, another large clothed family with young children set up on one of the lower basins.  I felt sorry for the kids.  At least they should have been allowed by their parents to enjoy being nude there.

Are Nudists Born or Made?

I enjoy reading questions and answers on Quora.  I learn about a lot of subjects and I like putting in my two cents on topics that I have some knowledge of.  I do so under the name Rick Orlando, which is, of course, the name I use here.

Yesterday a question came up there that got me thinking:  Are Nudists Born or Made?  If you follow the link, you can read my response.  Meanwhile at about the same time, Nick Alimonos of The Writer's Disease wrote a very interesting article Sex Nudity and Science which I think is a "must read".  His article least likely to become a nudist has a lot of parallels with my own life.  Including my growing up not very far from (actually, scary close to) where he grew up.  Maybe it was something in the water...

Nick brings up the point that when he had a pituitary problem and his testosterone level sank, he lost interest in being naked.  From my understanding, having low testosterone causes men to lose interest in just about everything.  Plus, why do so many women love being nudists?  Or for that matter, why do so many of us of "advanced age" with lower testosterone levels still love being naked?

Beyond that, in the "Sex and Science" article he ponders the "nature vs. nurture" question.  In other posts I've talked about my background of being likewise painfully shy well into my 20's, yet raised in a family that was apparently more casual about nudity than most other families around me were.  Humm...  So did I come to identify myself as a nudist because it developed naturally from my upbringing?  Or was I genetically predisposed to become a nudist because I inherited it from my mother, who was the most casual one in the family about nudity?

I thought back to when I was dating my then future wife and she told her mother that I liked being naked (she has a weird habit of outing me, which I've learned to appreciate).  She said that her mother's response was a nonchalant "maybe he's a nudist".  What the heck was she thinking when she said that?  That men have their unique kinks, but at least that one's a rather harmless one?  As in, sorry dear, he was born that way and that's the way he is.  Or that he's been conditioned or influenced to be that way and maybe he'll grow out of it.  What's the truth?

So yeah, why do I like being naked?  The more I think about it, the more I think why the heck shouldn't I like being naked?  It's more comfortable, it's often more practical, I feel better about myself when I'm naked, and I feel happy for others when they're naked and feel accepted by me simply as they are.

Thinking further about it, I'm just resentful that my culture doesn't accept everyone just as they are.  And that for a long time, I didn't accept myself, simply as I was.  It's not that clothing is a perversion, but that the need to hide oneself in it so quickly becomes one.

So am I different?  No.  I'm sorry to say that other people have just simply made themselves different from me.  After a couple of bad decades of not being happy being what I was, I became happy to be as God made me and I've been happy to be that way ever since.

Naked Pictures of your Kids

Ever since the invention of the film camera, parents have been taking naked pictures of their kids.  My mother certainly had plenty of such photos of us from infant "bare rug" shots, to us in the tub or kiddie pool together, to us just running around and playing naked, which was pretty much our right at home when it was just family around.

That was back in the day when the clerk at the store would check the photos on arrival for quality, but before anyone would ever think to question any parent about those shots.  Mom would torture us by showing off the photos to her friends, but in the end, we stopped caring.  My wife even used a few of the shots with my older sister and I on a poster board she made for my 50th birthday party.  I took some ribbing about "now we know what you look like naked" from friends and co-workers.  If they only knew...

Further revealing my age, our son is married and now has a son and a daughter of his own.  I married my wife with her family in progress from an earlier marriage to a jerk who would have made our lives miserable if I tried to raise "his" kids as nudists.  Our son (technically, my step-son) is married to a wonderful, but very conservative lady who I doubt approves of casual nudity, period.  Her husband, our son, certainly knows his mother and I are pretty casual about it between the two of us, but he doesn't know all the details of my background in social naturism, the way our daughter does.

Either way, it's sad to watch them so ruthlessly clothe their kids.  Around their house, bathing and diaper changing is the only time they're not compulsively imprisoned in clothing.  We go up and visit about once a month for a few nights at a time and sometimes when they're away we let the kids play in their kiddie pool, diaper free.

The last time we were up and the two were away, my wife went a bit crazy taking several dozens of pictures of their kids, completely naked, in their pool and running around the yard with me in the pictures.  Granted, they have a huge back yard which is completely fenced in, but I'm quite sure their mother would not approve, even though my wife and I stayed clothed.

When my wife asked me to send the pictures from the visit, I "neglected" to send the naked pictures, and I got roundly chewed out by her because of that.  I guess I'm still sensitive about being a nudist male and people assuming that I must be some kind of pervert, even a potential pedophile, for being around naked kids.

Dealing with Guests

Whenever we have house guests, I'm reminded how much work it is for those who hide themselves in their own homes all the time.  Doors have to be closed when one is changing, sleeping, or getting in or out of the shower, you have to be "properly" dressed all the times, and don't get me started on having to wear a bathing suit in the pool and hot tub with them :(  What a drag!

My wife is much more likely to "out" me when people unexpectedly drop in, than I am with her.  She'll just say I'm out back, naked, sunning himself, working in the yard, or swimming.  She'll then come get me (meaning she'll ask that I at least put a towel around myself before I come in).  I'm pretty sure that if they were to say it wouldn't bother them, she'd just let them come out and I'd be perfectly fine with it.

On the rare occasion that a neighbor or delivery person has gone through the fence and run into me naked, I've acted no differently than if I were clothed and let it be on them for coming in unannounced.

One of my wife's sisters lives nearby and stops by often.  I expect that one of these times she'll intentionally go out back, knowing I'm naked.  She'll try to make fun of me, and I'll stop getting dressed when she's around.  So there.

We have had a few guests who when told that we normally would be nude in the pool or tub, have asked if they could join us that way.  Likewise, once that's over with, them being nude and us being nude is OK thereafter.

Haulover Update

One of the entrances into the CO section of Haulover Beach

I had to take my wife down to the Miami International Airport yesterday and on the way back I stopped in to see what's become of Haulover Beach.  It's been many years since I've been down there.  You have to understand that South Florida is an entirely different planet than Central Florida where I live is.  I intentionally don't go down that far south very often.  Too many people, too much traffic, too much crime.  The last time I returned back through Miami's airport late at night, I walked into a heavily armed drug buy at a convenience store trying to get a receipt for a gas purchase.  Let's just say they were not happy to see me :(

Haulover has matured very nicely.  I suspect that the CO section is even larger than it used to be. Excellent signage, including reminders as one nears the dunes along the line that that this is a public beach and that any sexual activity will be dealt with harshly.  Thanks nasty guys for making that even necessary to have to say.

The gaudy temporary orange snow fence of long ago is gone.  Instead, there's just thin short unobtrusive, permanent, almost transparent fence that just reminds you where the very large CO section begins and ends (with signs in both directions on both sides of each cut in the fence).  They have very large lifeguard stations ("towers") every few hundred feet.  Interestingly the ones in the CO section are pink.  The clothing required section towers are yellow.

In other words, clothing optional use of Haulover is there to stay!  Note the welcome sign on the left picture above from the South Florida Free Beaches organization.  You're not going to see anything like that or like Haulover anywhere else in the US.  Good parking ($6) right off A1A and it's a short walk to local high rises and hotels.  Just like any other highly used, well loved, urban beach.

I didn't stay long.  It was a weekday, so at least the beach wasn't packed.  I can only image what it's going to be like this Memorial Day weekend.  It's a monster huge beach, but millions of people live within a short drive of it.  But yesterday the surf was rough, it was mostly cloudy with your typical South Florida sprinkles on and off, and there was a strong sea breeze that left everything coated with salt.  Next time I'll bring and put my clothes in a plastic bag and use the clothing optional showers before getting dressed and leaving the CO section.

If you have any reason to visit the Miami area, go up A1A a few miles up from South Beach and visit.  You'll be very glad that you did.  Thank you South Florida Free Beaches for all the work you've done there!  It wouldn't have happened without them.

Review: Cypress Cove Nudist Resort

I've been going to Cypress Cove in nearby Kissimmee Florida off and on for around 30 years.  I returned from a nice day visit there today and I realized that I've never talked about it in this blog.  I had written about it in a series of Geocities web pages I authored back in the day when that service was still in business.  But apparently not here.

A few things have changed about the place.  But thankfully, not much.  It used to be in a very rural area south of town surrounded by low end trailer parks and campsites.  Now, it's directly off a four lane divided highway with the nicely manicured entrance at a traffic light directly across from the local Lowes superstore.  The sign now just says "Cypress Cove" (not mentioning it's a nudist resort).  But that's OK.  The locals all know what it is, and they're fine with it being there.

They've added another pool and some nice shops, but they're hemmed in on all sides and I assume they can't afford to buy any of the adjacent properties.  Even so, it's pretty big.  Hundreds of people live there in mid to high end manufactured homes.  Most of the homes are meticulously landscaped and well maintained by their owners.  There's lots of room for visiting and seasonal RVs (it's pretty full now), and they have have several modern condo style buildings with rooms for visitors who aren't equipped for or desiring campground accommodations.  Add to that a well equipped gym, lots of outdoor sports facilities, a big pool side bar and grill in it's own building, and a fancy restaurant on their nice little lake.

It still has the look and feel of a mature, efficient, well kept up and well run local family owned place that isn't trying to weird or different.  Instead, it just looks and feels like a second home to those of us who live in and visit the area.

That said, I had a rocky start with them.  In my early 20's after having gone to several nude beaches, I decided to give them a call to see if I could visit their establishment.  I was given the cold shoulder and pretty much told that as a single male, I wasn't welcome.  That turned me off to the point that it was another year or so before I tried a different, more single male friendly club.  Only years later, as an "affiliated" visitor with AANR membership and an established membership in the "travel club" that supported Playalinda Beach on the Atlantic coast east of them, did I call again and was finally welcome to visit.

After several visits, they gave me a reference number to use that pretty much waves me in anytime I want to visit, even though I haven't kept up my memberships elsewhere.

The patrons there are mostly middle aged or retired, which suits me more now than it did back then.  Very laid back and friendly, but not a lot of younger people there with their families.

Today's visit was the opposite of the deprivation chamber experience I talked about a couple of weeks ago.  Sunny, mid-70's, nice breeze.  Perfect.  Deliciously sensual without anyone feeling uncomfortable with anyone.  No (obvious) swingers and though nudity is expected everywhere, it's only rigidly enforced (as with most clubs) around and in the pool and hot tubs.

It's a great place to introduce middle age and above non-nudists to what it's all about.  Young adults would probably enjoy going with a group like the Florida Young Naturists to a club like Sunsport Gardens in South Florida, that caters to the younger crowd who aren't looking for or needing fancy facilities.

If I had it do do all over again...

It's easy to play the "what if" game.  I regret not marrying young and having a large family of my own.  But neither I nor my wife are the same people as we were in back when we were in our early 20's.  We wouldn't have met, and we probably wouldn't have even liked each other if we had met back then.  It was better that we became what we eventually would become, before we met.  Otherwise, we would have divorced before we got very far.

I regret not finishing my PhD.  I was working on my dissertation while on loan to a branch of my company, living out of hotel rooms in the mid-west, working 60+ hours every week for years on end.   Eventually I had to choose between burning out irreparably, or burning out in a way that I might eventually recover from.  So when push came to shove, I gave up the PhD work.  I would have loved teaching college in retirement instead of just doing a few guest lectures, like I do now. Plus my wife is an EU citizen and I could have taught in Europe.

Marrying late meant that I didn't have the large family I would have liked to have fathered.  Instead, I married the perfect person for the rest of my life, with two young kids who I couldn't have loved any more than if I had fathered them myself.

But let's be honest.  I made lifelong friends, learned more than I could ever have otherwise, and advanced my career in a way that set me up for the rest of my life because I worked those long hours and spent years away from home.  I didn't have the burden of time and money having a family when I was young, so I traveled extensively, disappearing for weeks on end deep into the mountains with my back pack and gear.  Plus, I had a head start on saving and investing that made it a lot easier to help us, and the kids, later in life.  Starting early has set us up well for retirement sometime in the near future.  Something everyone young person should think about.

The luxury of time and independence in my early 20's allowed my to explore my naturist tendencies.  I visited nude beaches and nudist venues in several countries, and I became active in a local club my politically connected future wife would never have allowed me to be active in. No, I didn't get to hike the Pacific Coast Trail or the full length of the Appalachian trail.  And I didn't get to raise my kids as nudists.  But I did confide in them my background and I expressed my hope that they'd at least be at peace with their own bodies, very early in their lives.  I hope they consider that option with their kids.

I'm happy with how my life turned out.  I love my wife, my kids (they are, to me, my kids), and our two grand kids (and counting).  And I look forward to a wonderful rest of my life with them.  My wife enjoys the freedom of not having to wear clothes around me.  And she's OK with coming with me to nude beaches and nudist clubs every now and again.  I've had a few discussions with the kids, and they understand their options.  I just hope they raise their kids to be as least as accepting as my parents raised me.  Sometimes, that's the most you can ask.

Floating Naked

A few years ago, a business came to town that offers people the experience of spending an hour or two in what used to be called "deprivation chambers".  Basically you float alone in total darkness and quiet inside a pod filled with warm heavily salted (Epson salts) water.  The idea is that the lack of sensory stimuli allows the participant to clear and quiet their mind easier than one could with meditation alone.  As you might expect, all sorts of benefits are claimed.

I tried it for an hour a couple of years ago and I must say that I didn't get much out of it.  With the wife away this weekend, I decided to treat myself to a longer "float" of an hour and a half. As before, it was an interesting experience, but I guess I've never had much trouble quieting my mind when I wanted to.  But I can see that it might be helpful to some people.

So why bring this up here?  Because, and they make this very clear, you must float naked in the pod because the feeling of wearing anything while you "float" is distracting.  As if any of us who enjoy the outdoors, a day at the beach, or swimming naked needed to be reminded.   The room with your pod is completely private and includes a shower and changing area.  You undress, shower briefly, climb in the pod, aid wait as soft music plays for a while.  The lights slowly dim, then you're left in perfect quiet and darkness with your body suspended in warm soft water with the air warmed above you to the same perfect temperature.  When your time's up, the music fades back in and the lights fade back up.  That's your cue to (possibly wake up)  get out, shower, dress, and leave.

What's it like?  The need to do it naked probably dissuades some people.  They don't outright ban swimwear and they wouldn't know if you wore any, but it becomes obvious pretty quickly that wearing anything would distract the almost out of body experience "floating" (as they call it) gives you.  I guess I'm too in tune with my body to experience the full sensory quieting experience.  I hear and try to think only of my breathing, but I can still feel the warm water/air line evenly down my body (you float pretty high in the water) and I could hear my heartbeat pulsing quietly inside my ears.  I guess my body isn't totally at peace even when it's fully at rest.  I could feel tightness in my back and in my legs, even after some stretching while in the pod.  Floating after a nice fully body message would have been perfect.

In the end, as before, not knowing when it would be over was always on my mind and I alternated between being bored, and not thinking of anything.  Which, I suppose in the last case, was the point.  Either way, as with so many things in life, it's better experienced and enjoyed naked.

Beach Review: Blind Creek Beach (Florida)

My weekends have been pretty busy and I haven't had much chance to visit any nude beaches or clubs for several months.  Last month for my birthday, my wife suggested that we spend the day at Haulover Beach (a very nice clothing optional beach near Miami).  But Haulover makes for a long day trip from here.  Other things came up, so we visited one of the wonderful spring state parks in the middle of the state instead (highly recommended, albeit a clothed venue).

The wife's out of town for a couple of weeks on a road trip with her sister, so today I thought I'd check out a new beach I recently read about that's a lot closer to home (not wanting to disappoint her if it turns out not to have much nude use, or is too sketchy).  Blind Creek Beach is a county run beach on the Atlantic Ocean, near Fort Pierce, Florida, about half way down the east coast of the state.  It's only been in use for a couple of years, but boy was I impressed!

I'll let the Treasure Coast Naturists tell the story of their role in making it possible.  Kudos to them!

Driving down from the north around 11 AM, I passed the north parking lot which they recommended only as an overflow lot.  The clothing optional section is between the north and south lots, and they said most of the nude use would be near the south end.  The north lot had quite a few cars, but I figured the textile locals where probably using that end and it would be a long walk south before running into people using the beach nude.  North of the beach is expensive condos and subdivisions with fancy public beaches nearby.  All the more reason to head for the south lot.

The south lot was pretty full, which dashed my hopes that there would be any nude use there.  It's a primitive beach, but the county had done a good job of making it acceptable.  I expected only to find a few people after your typical long walk up or down from the beach access trail.  But nooo...  At the end of the trail there were nude people everywhere as far as one could see in both directions, including right at the end of the access trail.  No one even bothered to post a "Beyond this point you may encounter nude bathers" sign (one was posted on the access trail later in the day).  For that matter, no one had bothered to take the option and was clothed except to walk to or from the parking lot.  So exactly who was there who needed to be warned?

It was sunny, warm (low 80's), and was forecast was for it to stay that way.  I found a nice spot not too far from the access trail.  From the deep tans everywhere and the relaxed atmosphere, it was obvious that the beach had matured nicely.  That said, a couple of things were a bit too cavalier.  I walked far to the south and people there were walking into the active nuclear power plant's property.  Yeah, the state owns up to the high water mark and the nude walkers seem to be respecting that.  But I suspect that security there would be touchy about it.

Likewise, instead of people staying south of the north entrance, they had spread well to the north as far as you could see, which was supposed to be "clothing required" territory.  Nobody seemed to care, including people walking in from either entrance with their families.  They joined in as if everyone in the area knew what the deal was.  Two big thumbs up!

I made some small talk with a few people near my spot.  But like most of the nude beaches I've been to here in the US, most people tended to keep to themselves.  Which is a shame.  Also, while the Treasure Coast Naturists sponsored a couple of potta-potties, which wouldn't have been there otherwise, they didn't have an obvious presence to disseminate information, tell others about upcoming events, or to collect donations for their expenses.  Hopefully more people will join and help.

Florida

Dave Barry wrote a fun article about Florida in the Wall Street Journal last Friday (Sept 2, 2016).  It's behind their paywall, but I'll share a snippet:

"Almost any day of the year, I could walk out my front door naked and be perfectly physically comfortable until the police Taser me.  Granted, sometimes in the summer (defined as June through the following June), it gets a little too warm down here, but too warm beats the hell out of too
cold. Too cold means if you stay outside too long you will die. Too warm means you might have to have another beer...."

I spent the day yesterday power washing and bleaching the patio, working on the pool, and doing all sorts of other messy sweaty things in the back yard in the heat, and sometimes in the rain.  Being and staying nude throughout the day was much more practical and comfortable.  I would have spent the day in dirty, gritty, wet, chafing, ruined clothing, sweating like a pig.   Instead, I simply jumped into the pool whenever I felt like it or whenever I got the bleach on me.  Jump out, continue.

But to Dave Barry's point, nine times out of ten, I do it just as easily and just as comfortably in mid January here.  The only difference is it would be 75F and sunny, instead of 95F and mixed.

People think of "natives" here as being the Seminole tribe, when in reality they were refugees from the north just as most Floridians here are.  I'm considered a "Florida native" only because I was born here and my father side has been in the state for several generations.  Maybe when the influx of northern invaders dies down, people will start working and enjoying the parks and beaches naked.  Until then, at least I have my own private oasis.

Degrees of Being a Nudist

Saying it that way makes it sound like "degrees of deviant behavior" instead of looking at it from my prospective of "degrees of being free of clothing compulsiveness", which challenges the alternative as being the unhealthy behavior.

Be that as it may, I was listening recently to the latest episode of the excellent Naturist Living Show podcast, Architecture of Nudism and Naturism, and it got me thinking as to what are the levels of involvement different people have with nudism and naturism?  Thinking about it, I came up with the following levels.  Many of them overlap and you might find yourself more in one category or the other, depending on your situation.  Either way, where do you see yourself?  And what "levels" would you define?

Intolerant of Nudity:  Unfortunately this is the position of many state and local governments here in the US to the point that they pass laws that define in excruciating detail what's acceptable and what's illegal.  Sometimes to the point of making you register as a sex offender if you're convicted of such a heinous crime.  Very few people are as personally intolerant about nudity as these laws are.  Even so, some people call the police when they see someone skinny-dipping, even in the remotest location.  They see what their own species looks like as being fundamentally immoral and it's their duty to report any transgression.  They object to any full display of the human form in art, movies, and TV, and consider any such display as being pornographic and obscene.  Those people need to get a life. Fortunately, though many people assume more people are that strict about it, very few people actually are.

Nude Averse:  These people actively avoid nudity whenever possible.   When they run into people skinny-dipping, stumble onto a nude beach, or go to a gym where people are too casual about nudity in the gym locker rooms or showers, they leave and they don't come back.  They avoid visiting family members who are casual about the nudity of their children.   They change the channel and cover the eyes of their children when nudity is depicted on the TV or in movies.  These people probably don't sleep naked , they get dressed right after they bathe, and they close and lock the door to prevent their kids from walking in when they're not dressed.  And they teach their kids to do likewise.  They've probably never skinny-dipped, or at least they'd never admit that they had.
  
Nude Tolerant:  Most Americans probably fall into this category today.  While they wouldn't visit a nude beach or nudist resort themselves, it's OK with them if others do.  They don't mind changing and showering at the gym.  Showering, that is, in a stall, not communally.  They don't mind too much if others in the sauna are sitting on their towels instead of sitting with the towel around them, like they do.   They don't mind their friend's kids running around naked in their house, but they wouldn't let their kids do that.  They sleep naked if they want to and they don't scream at their kids if they walk in on them when they aren't dressed.  But they're careful to not have that happen too often.  They've probably skinny-dipped and don't mind saying they have as a "youthful indiscretion", but it's not something they'd do now.  They ignore nudity on in the media and don't go out of their way to shield their kids from it, but they think it's unnecessary and they wish there wasn't so much of it.  They think they're more liberal about it than they think most good people are.  So out of respect for them, they don't object and might even vote for restrictive ordinances.

Casual about Nudity:  These people don't mind using communal showers and they're the ones sitting on their towel in the sauna.  If friends want to skinny-dip in a remote location or in a private pool or hot tub, they'll go along with it.  They probably swim naked in their own pool when the kids aren't around.  They don't give sleeping naked a second thought and they probably air dry after bathing or swimming and do light chores naked without feeling any need to hurry to get dressed.  They don't mind if their kids run around naked for a while after their bath.  They have an open door policy and behave no differently when their kids walk in on them naked than if they were clothed.  They can be talked into going to a nude beach or a nudist resort with a close friend, but they don't want others to know if they went.  They'll probably just check that off their bucket list and not come back on their own.  That describes how I was raised.

Home Nudist:  This person prefers being nude whenever they can be.  Like anyone else, when they're home for the night and not going anywhere, they like getting comfortable.  But they've discovered that removing ALL of their clothes is even more comfortable than just removing some of them, and they don't see any reason not to be nude at home.  They've skinny-dipped and been to nude beaches often enough that they hate wearing swim suits.  They do chores and projects around the house nude, and if their back yard is private enough, they'll garden, sunbathe, and swim nude if they own a pool.  They don't mind if their neighbors and family know, but they respect other people's discomfort with it and are careful not to expose them to it.  That describes me most days.

Recreational/Social Nudist:  This person enjoys going to nude beaches and nudist clubs and resorts not only to enjoy the expanded opportunities to be nude, but to make friends and to meet people.  They're friendly, engage in volleyball and other group sports there, and other people like being around them.  But unless they live nearby, you don't see them there that often.  They don't let it interfere with the rest of their life.  That describes me.

Philosophical Naturist:   Someone who thinks being nude and accepting others who are nude helps one to be a better person.  That society demonizing nudity has psychologically and sociologically damaged us, and that we'd all be better off if we'd take a healthier attitude. They may or may not be naked as often as others are.  They don't see themselves as just being a nudist (as in one who just likes being naked).  Which is why I prefer the term "naturist" for myself.

Card Carrying/Activist Nudist:  This person is a member of clubs and organizations not just for the discounts.  They come to meetings, participate in outreach, write blogs, do volunteer work at their club, and aren't afraid to tell others all about.   That used to describe me, but distance and the other distractions of life have limited me to this blog and answering questions on Yahoo and Quora.

Living It:  These people live and often work 24/7 nude as much as they can.  Either they live alone and don't have a lot of visitors, or they live in a nudist community and are rarely clothed unless they have to go into town.  Visiting friends and family have to put with their host being nude.  They dress at home for no one.

Time to launch this.  I'll check back later and clean it up.  Comment if you like.  Look for a poll on this subject on the page.

Nudist Lifestyle or Naturist Philosophy?

I don't get it.  What is this nudist "lifestyle" the media and people talk about?  To me, being nude alone and with others is like riding a motorcycle.  You can try it, it's nice, but maybe it's not your thing.  For others, it's liberating and sensual to ride without all that glass and metal around you.  Perhaps you ride simply because it's practical.  You go to work, you come home.  When it's rainy or cold out, you drive your car.  Other than that, it's just an option.

But maybe you find it a wonderful option when it's available to you.  You ride with friends at times, enjoying nice winding roads to a nice destinations together.  But you don't forsake other things you like doing, to do that.  You might live where everyone rides and that's the norm, but it's still OK if other's don't ride.

For other's it's a theme.  You have to have the right bike, the right paint job, the right clothes, the right tattoos, the right friends, the right bar, the right bling, and the right home.  You, sir or ma'am are a biker and you're expected to look and act like one.  Never mind the fact that it all started with you just enjoying riding a motorcycle sometimes instead of a car.  You're living the biker lifestyle and you have responsibilities to maintain and develop that lifestyle.

That's what some people think nudists do.  That we are "that way", and "that way" permeates, defines, and rules our lives.  I don't know about you, but preferring to be nude whenever I can be doesn't describe or define me.  It just simply IS me.

A few years ago when my wife and I were driving across the northwest US and we spent spent a couple of days at a small nudist club along the way.  A young couple was there with their large family and a beat up bus they were travelling and living in.  The father had been working on the bus and he was head to toes a greasy, oily, mess.  My wife thought it weird the he worked nude that way.  But as anyone who has worked under cars on a messy job knows, the oil and grease are going to soak through your clothes anyway, and at least nude you might have some opportunities to wipe some of it off, instead of living in soaked clothes that way the whole day.

My point is, was he living the nudist "lifestyle" or simply living his life nude when he could, just doing what he would otherwise normally do?

The counterpoint is, was he, and do I, believe in a naturist philosophy where being nude is not only a more practical way to be when you can get away with it, but a better choice for oneself and others when it makes sense?  Even if it most of the time it does make sense, but you can't accommodate it?

For me, it does make sense.  It's the right thing to do and the right thing to welcome others to do.  Be yourself.  Look like yourself.  Enjoy being what you are.  Accept and welcome others simply as they are.  Be glad you're human.  Enjoy being part of nature and this world.  Take care of yourself, help others, and be responsible to the world you've been privileged to live in.

That's not a lifestyle.  It's a philosophy of life that in many ways is no different than for others who for some strange reason, keep their clothes on.  Except that keeping your clothes on is stupid.

Trans Bathroom Debate - Gender Identity

How much is gender identity instinctive and how much is conditioned?  And to what extent is the gender one identifies with, tied with to one's sexuality and one's sexual preferences?   I find it easier to accept differences in sexual preferences than I do people who feel that they're of the wrong gender to the point that they insist on trying to act and look like what the culture defines the other gender is supposed to look like and act like.  Worse yet, to the point of using hormones and having gender reassignment surgery. 

As social nudists, we have a different perspective on this issue. But it's not that different.  As anyone who wasn't deliberately conditioned otherwise, we don't see the difference in the anatomies of the different genders as being that big a deal.  We'd accept either, both, or neither as being people who should be accepted simply as they are.  But that doesn't change the fact that we realize that culturally, and yes, physically, there are reasons why women want to be with their own kind when they're using the toilet facilities (excuse me if I don't use our idiotic American term, "rest room").

Let's face it, biologically assigned women are on average smaller, weaker, less aggressive, and have more to lose if a man assaults them, then the other way around.  While using the facilities they're a lot more vulnerable and isolated than they would be in public.  So why not give them their own space where they're more likely to be left alone?   If a guy is so far enough along to pass himself off as a woman that no one would notice what their biological gender is, have at it.  But if there's a unisex or family facility available, for the comfort of others who might suspect otherwise, please use those facilities instead.  We don't need rigid laws.  Our culture can take care of itself, thank you.

Last year I went to see Jake Owens at the end of his concert tour, back in his home town of Vero Beach at the baseball stadium where the Dodger's spring training team used to play.  Pure magic.  From playing the local bars and restaurants there, to making it big time, Jake is a local boy who we were all happy for.

During the breaks, the facilities were overtaxed and the women's facilities were totally overwhelmed, so the women lined up with the men to use their facilities.

They waited their turn going into the stalls, joking about the guys using the urinals next to them.  The point is, we where their boyfriends, husbands, fathers, and yes, grandfathers of many of those women and anyone who was going to give them a hard time wasn't going to be happy with the result.  I was impressed.  Wow!  Real adults!

Meanwhile, in nudist clubs and resorts, it's a mixed bag.  Many of them are converted "textile" facilities inheriting men and women's facilities.  But many of them have opened them up to "men and couples", or "women and couples".

Huh?  Let's face it.  In closed and often isolated facilities in our culture, women have more of a need to feel "safe" with their own kind, or at least with those that care about them, than being forced to intermix.

While at the same time, nudists easily shower together in the open, where everyone can see us and nobody can get away with being disrespectful of others.

So what should we do?  First, respect the culture, even if you don't agree with it.  Contribute to changing it, but respect it never the less.  Second, don't pass laws that "presume" what the culture will tolerate.  That's none of their damn business.  And please stop creating these distractions when we have so many more important things that the government should be worried about!

The New Fence and Maintaining a Reasonable Expectation of Privacy

We've had our back yard fenced ever since we moved there.  More accurately, our land backs up to the deep woods of a sanctuary so we've left that side open so we can enjoy the view of the woods and the critters who come and go from there.  Either way, we enjoy complete privacy in our back yard and unless a neighbor was working on their roof, up in a tree, or peeking through the narrow slats, they couldn't see whether we're naked or not in our pool, our hot tub, or just laying out or working in the yard.  In legal terms, we had a reasonable expectation of privacy and are perfectly within our rights to be nude there.

But the privacy wasn't perfect.  We had back to back hurricanes several years ago and the fence was down for months.  We hated it, but out of respect for our neighbors, we didn't go nude back there during the day until the fence was back up.  I'd go in or put something on if a neighbor was working on his roof, on a ladder trimming their trees, or their kids were playing along the fence on their side, since it was easy for them to see us through narrow slats accidentally, if they were that close to the fence.

But the fence was beginning to look pretty tired.  The slats were shrinking and warping, and it was getting easy for the neighbors to see onto our property from certain angles if we were in certain areas of our back yard, so it was time for it to be replaced.

The new fence is vinyl with continuous panels with no cracks in between.  Heaven.  Once again we can be anywhere in our yard and they can be anywhere in their yard, including right up against the fence, and they'll never see us.   It's not that they don't know we're nude there.  We're on good enough terms that we've mentioned it.  Even so, good fences make good neighbors.  Having enough privacy is well worth the work and expense of maintaining it.

Tweaking the Blog

Bare with me as I tweak the look and feel of this blog a bit.  The avatar I've been using since my Geocities days (you can still find the old posts if you Google "rick407") was too low res in the way it's presented in G+ and here.  I was attached to it because it reminds me of myself when I got started with naturism.  Thin, fit, brown hair, stubble, just hanging out at the beach. Today, I have less hair and aren't as young, but I'm still sporting a closely cropped beard that I haven't shaved since before I visited my first nude beach in my early 20's.

The new profile photo is that of the warning sign at Haulover Beach, near Miami.  That may change.  If you haven't guessed, the last name isn't mine, but rather the name of a person who a nearby town is named after.  And for trivia's sake, 407 is the area code there.  Yeah, not very original.  The "b" at the end of my yahoo username came from somehow locking myself out from the original rick407 account about the time Geocities collapsed.  So much for history.

I intended this blog to be not about my thoughts in general, but just about my thoughts about nudism, naturism, nudity, or whatever you prefer calling what humans look like.  I'm likewise juggling around another blog that isn't linked with this username.  That one is purely technical and is likely completely lost in the noise.  I have personal Facebook and Google accounts, but those I just use between family and personal friends.  Really boring stuff which you'd have no interest in.

I keep them separate because they have different audiences, not because I'd be all that devastated if people put two and two together and they linked them to me.  There aren't that many people who don't know the opinions I express under any of those usernames.

This was one very hot Christmas

Here in Central Florida, there's usually only a dozen or so days a year one wouldn't be perfectly comfortable being outside nude in the middle of the day.  And maybe there's a couple of dozen nights a year when one dare not dash out to get the paper in the morning wearing less than long pants and a jacket.  But no.  Not this year.  We've had a few cool days last month when wearing long pants was more comfortable than wearing shorts in the evening.  But this year.  This... is something else.

It's been muggy and in the mid 80's during the day and mid 70's and humid at night for weeks now.  Day or night, being nude outside has been more comfortable than even wearing the traditional shorts and tee shirts we spend most of our winters here wearing in public.  Will it cool off by New Years Day?  Maybe into the low 80's, we're told.

Contrast that with a few Christmases of my youth (elsewhere in Florida at the same latitude) where it at least sometimes got below freezing for a few hours in the morning on or around Christmas Day.  Heck, once, we got up early in the morning not to see what Santa brought us, but because they said we might see a light flurry.  No such luck.

On another post, I mentioned a time when I was dating a member of Paradise Lakes near Tampa and she invited me to an outdoor New Years Eve party there.  Darned if that wasn't one of the freaky cold nights.  They had outdoor heaters set up and one could spend the hours huddled in one of their many heated pools and tubs.  But wow, it was cold that night (low 40's).  The club was clothing optional (I prefer nude only) and the party certainly was CO, so I grudgingly went wearing jeans, a sweat shirt and a jacket.

My date was more daring and was committed to going and staying nude.  It didn't stay that way and within an hour or so, she was wearing my clothes, and I was trying to make the best of it, buck naked.  It turns out that my clothes fit her perfectly.  We didn't stay long and well before the bell dropped, we were huddled in our room, warming each other up.

So here we are.  I'm off until after New Years and my wife, always thinking ahead, had the fence torn down Christmas Eve day to be replaced next week with a new (and much better) one.  The pool's now in the 80's (solar heated) and it would really be nice to be able to spend some time out in the sun back there.  But no...  We're exposed to the neighbors and they've suddenly found themselves without warning  being exposed to us for a good part of a week.  :(  At least my neighbors will soon be enjoying the improved privacy my new fence gives them.  And it fills in some gaps that made our privacy a little less than I liked.

Warm or cold.  Merry Christmas.  Whether you're celebrating the birth of Christ, or not.

More Working Naked

Another nasty weekend job with my wife away for the weekend.  Power-washing the patio and bleaching it afterwards.  Yeah, I know, it's getting chilly in most of the country, but here in Florida, it was sunny and 80 today.  That's actually a break from 87 degrees and humid as it's been most of the week.

Since I have good privacy in the back yard, it's yet another job that's easily done naked.  I was alternately wet and dry all day, and blasting the deck throws back a lot of dirt.  Working all day in wet shorts or a swim suit wasn't a desirable option, especially with all the grit that accumulates as I'm blasting away.  I took quick dips in the pool to clean up and air dry while I continued to work whenever I wanted to.  It's nice that the water's still a warm 85 degrees :)

Splash-back from spreading chlorine on the deck afterwards is a sure way to destroy anything you're wearing and contrary to what you might think, you feel and can quickly rinse off any chlorine that splashes back, verses having it get soaked into your clothes and rubbing against you for a while before you notice.  Then what?  Into the pool to wash it off your clothes and be miserably soaking wet afterwards while probably still retaining some chlorine?  Yuck!

I took a break mid day and got dressed to run some errands.  Just as I was heading out, my sister-in-law knocked on the door to drop some stuff off.  If she was earlier or later, she probably would have hear me blasting away in the back yard and would have come back and seen me working that way.  I probably wouldn't have heard her.  It's not that she doesn't know that I enjoy spending time free from my clothes.  Oh well.  Awkward for her maybe, but it wouldn't have phased me a bit.

I'll rinse the patio off tomorrow and put all the furniture back in order.  Not as messy, but there's no reason to get dressed to do it.  Plenty of other chores, tomorrow.  Half inside, half in the front yard.  Half done comfortably.  Half done dressed to keep the neighbors happy.  Oh well, half a day is better than having to stay clothed all day.

Naked in the Attic

I just got back from crawling through the attic checking on a long wire antenna that I have strung up there years ago.  Yeah, I'm also one of THOSE people (a ham radio operator).  We've had a lot of roofing, air conditioning, and remodeling work done in the last few years and I was curious to see if the antenna was still intact.  After a lot of crawling around to get from one end to the other, I found the antenna to be in good condition.

Even in the early morning, it's still hot up there from all the heat trapped from the day before.  Plus the attic is now even more crowded than before with ducts, cables, wires, nails, and staples that like to catch and rip into clothing, and into me.  Thinking that clothing was more of a liability than an asset, I decided to do without it this time.  OK, I wore shoes.  It seemed that every time I got snagged, poked, scratched, or badly cut going up there, my clothes provided me no protection and instead they just got ruined in the process.  Plus, I sweat buckets up there and my clothes would usually get so soaked, unwearable, and smelly that they just got thrown in the laundry room right away afterwards, anyway.

I'm happy to report that crawling around up there nude was the way to go.  Without clothing to snag, I was able slither through the tangle of ducts, rafters, and wires is if I was almost not there.  I also seemed to be more careful about keeping myself further away from where nails or staples might be lurking out to get me and I managed to come out scratch free.  I was a lot cooler and more comfortable with the sweat just sheet flowing off me and not accumulating and chafing in my clothes, like would happen otherwise.

As noted in my Practically Naked posts, wearing clothes is often a lot more of a liability than an asset when one is doing physical work.

Naked At Lunch

I few months ago, I ran into a couple of short interviews with an author, Mark Haskell Smith, about his latest book "Naked at Lunch, A Reluctant Nudist's Adventures in the Clothing-Optional World".  After reading the reviews, it didn't seem like it was a stupid fluff piece, so I bought the electronic version and made my way through it.  The premise of the book is that he wanted to investigate what all this nudist/clothing-optional stuff was about, and with the air of detachment of a pseudo-journalist or armchair sociologist, he went about having a wide range of nudist experiences to find out what he could about "those" people.

It was a good read and he certainly had a lot of high end experiences that most of us will never be able to have or afford.  I've had some of his basic experiences and found his reporting of them to be insightful and genuine.  Black's Beach (near San Diego) was my first experience with social nudity and a clothing optional beach.  His description of the place, the people, and hiking down there and back was spot on.  And I like his description of Haulover Beach near Miami, Florida as being a drop dead gorgeous beach right off the main highway, right in the middle of everything.  It is a shining example of what a modern urban beach should be.

He likewise found it odd, as I did, that the staff of Desert Sun Resort in Palm Springs were all dressed up appropriate to their jobs, while everyone else went naked.  Stephane Deschenens, owner of Bare Oaks Family Naturist Park, has a wonderful podcast called the Naturist living Show.  His latest talk was on the subject of working in a nudist club and why, in his resort, the staff is nude.  I have to agree with him.

Mark did a nude cruise, which I've never done.  But then, I don't like themed cruises.  They're expensive and I like the diversity of everyone not trying fit the same mold.  Likewise, I enjoyed his description of Vera Playa in Spain and of course Cap d'Agde in France.  Two places I'll probably never get to.  He highlighted people dressing up erotically at night and some of the swinging at those places.  Sorry, but that stuff turns me off.  Which is why I'll probably never go either place.

The one experience he had that I would have really loved was "The Naked European Walking Tour".  A group that gets together annually and day hikes in the Alps, base camping for a week together.  Being a long time back-country hiker and lover of mountains, I would LOVE that!

He interviewed some interesting people, including Scott Wiener, the city supervisor in San Francisco who put into place the nudity ban there, nudist historian and academic Mark Storey, Felicity Jones (co-founder of Young Naturists America and my favorite young nudist blogger), and many others.  And he covered a lot of history about nudism that I didn't know.  And yes, not all of it was pretty.

It wasn't a light fun read (and free Kindle book) like "Going Bare" by John Harding, a brit who needled his wife into going to a nice low key French resort (La Jenny) with the family, and loved it.   La Jenny sounds a lot more appealing to me than the fancy resorts do.  Nor was it a throughout sociological study, like the book "Nudist Society", which I enjoyed and if Mark Smith had looked for it when he visited the "American Nudist Research Library" on the grounds of Cypress Cove Nudist Resort, he would have seen the copy of "Nudist Society" I donated there several years ago.

Either way, buy Mark's book.  Maybe you'll learn something.  He claims that he was simply acting as a "reluctant nudist" and that he still isn't one, even though he thinks society misunderstands it and that simple nudity shouldn't be criminalized the way it is.  Maybe he still doesn't get it.  All a nudist or naturist is, is someone who actually likes being human and doesn't mind actually looking like one.  Perhaps, he fits that description and still doesn't know that, in fact, he is one (simply human = natural nudist).