Naked At Lunch

I few months ago, I ran into a couple of short interviews with an author, Mark Haskell Smith, about his latest book "Naked at Lunch, A Reluctant Nudist's Adventures in the Clothing-Optional World".  After reading the reviews, it didn't seem like it was a stupid fluff piece, so I bought the electronic version and made my way through it.  The premise of the book is that he wanted to investigate what all this nudist/clothing-optional stuff was about, and with the air of detachment of a pseudo-journalist or armchair sociologist, he went about having a wide range of nudist experiences to find out what he could about "those" people.

It was a good read and he certainly had a lot of high end experiences that most of us will never be able to have or afford.  I've had some of his basic experiences and found his reporting of them to be insightful and genuine.  Black's Beach (near San Diego) was my first experience with social nudity and a clothing optional beach.  His description of the place, the people, and hiking down there and back was spot on.  And I like his description of Haulover Beach near Miami, Florida as being a drop dead gorgeous beach right off the main highway, right in the middle of everything.  It is a shining example of what a modern urban beach should be.

He likewise found it odd, as I did, that the staff of Desert Sun Resort in Palm Springs were all dressed up appropriate to their jobs, while everyone else went naked.  Stephane Deschenens, owner of Bare Oaks Family Naturist Park, has a wonderful podcast called the Naturist living Show.  His latest talk was on the subject of working in a nudist club and why, in his resort, the staff is nude.  I have to agree with him.

Mark did a nude cruise, which I've never done.  But then, I don't like themed cruises.  They're expensive and I like the diversity of everyone not trying fit the same mold.  Likewise, I enjoyed his description of Vera Playa in Spain and of course Cap d'Agde in France.  Two places I'll probably never get to.  He highlighted people dressing up erotically at night and some of the swinging at those places.  Sorry, but that stuff turns me off.  Which is why I'll probably never go either place.

The one experience he had that I would have really loved was "The Naked European Walking Tour".  A group that gets together annually and day hikes in the Alps, base camping for a week together.  Being a long time back-country hiker and lover of mountains, I would LOVE that!

He interviewed some interesting people, including Scott Wiener, the city supervisor in San Francisco who put into place the nudity ban there, nudist historian and academic Mark Storey, Felicity Jones (co-founder of Young Naturists America and my favorite young nudist blogger), and many others.  And he covered a lot of history about nudism that I didn't know.  And yes, not all of it was pretty.

It wasn't a light fun read (and free Kindle book) like "Going Bare" by John Harding, a brit who needled his wife into going to a nice low key French resort (La Jenny) with the family, and loved it.   La Jenny sounds a lot more appealing to me than the fancy resorts do.  Nor was it a throughout sociological study, like the book "Nudist Society", which I enjoyed and if Mark Smith had looked for it when he visited the "American Nudist Research Library" on the grounds of Cypress Cove Nudist Resort, he would have seen the copy of "Nudist Society" I donated there several years ago.

Either way, buy Mark's book.  Maybe you'll learn something.  He claims that he was simply acting as a "reluctant nudist" and that he still isn't one, even though he thinks society misunderstands it and that simple nudity shouldn't be criminalized the way it is.  Maybe he still doesn't get it.  All a nudist or naturist is, is someone who actually likes being human and doesn't mind actually looking like one.  Perhaps, he fits that description and still doesn't know that, in fact, he is one (simply human = natural nudist).

"Lifestyle" People (Swingers)

I've pretty shameless about my sexuality.  I didn't used to be, but I've learned over the years that being ashamed of that gift is both wasteful and ungrateful to my maker, and unfair to my partner.  I suppose if sexual activity was a required form of casual social interaction (as with Bonobo chimps), I could do it.  But I wouldn't want to.

My wife is the only one I want that deeply into my body and into my head, and I have a lot invested reaching into her head and learning about her sexuality and her body.  I claw away at her fears and inhibitions trying to set her sexuality free, while freely sharing my sexuality with her for her exploration and amusement.  I'd would much rather stay totally committed to her and the kids, than to have other people involved, picking us apart.

That said, those people exist.  To me it seems emotionally shallow and sexually degrading.  Promiscuous people will continue to evolve and spread nasty diseases, have small or no families, and pass on their shallowness and lack of commitment to what kids they do have.  And as a people, we'll continue to be worse off for it.

Unfortunately, there are enough of them out there that they overlap with the majority of nudists like me who don't want to have anything to do with them.  The overlap of two such unrelated interests is evident only because of the accepting environment of social nudism.  They are open about it with us more than in open society because we're more accepting.

Simply put, I don't like their vibe.  They bring a sexual tension to an environment that most of us are trying to escape from.  They're erotic with what they do wear and with how they don't wear things.  And their solicitations are most unwelcome.

There are clubs out there which cater to them.  Personally, I don't know where they are and I'm not interested in finding out.  To them, being nude is simply a means to an end.  It's too plain for them, so they spend most of their time erotically dressed.  I'm fine with that.  Let them have places where they can screw themselves silly.

In the US, clubs affiliated with AANR are supposed to not allow this behavior to be openly displayed in their clubs.  Several clubs have lost their affiliation because of this, and many of them have gone to the "dark side" hosting swingers groups.  I suppose it brings in more money.  Good luck and good riddance.

At other affiliated clubs it goes on, but they're more subtle about it.  If they are so subtle about it that I can't tell it's going on, I don't have a problem with it.  But otherwise, I avoid such places like the plague.  That behavior totally destroys what I'm there for.

I have the same problem with some clothing optional clubs.  When the clothing people there are wearing is provocative, I get turned off and go elsewhere.  It's a shame, because a clothing optional venue is a great way to help people ease into nudism without having to commit.  But if it sets up a tense environment, it will scare the kind of people I like away.  That's probably why I prefer clubs where nudity is expected and beaches where everyone is nude.

To each their own.... Somewhere else please.  We have so few really good places to go as it is.