Strip Clubs

I haven't been in a strip club in decades, but I doubt they've changed much.  When I was young, that's where a lot of guys went for a night out on the town.  I avoided them like the plague except at bachelor parties, when going was obligatory.  I went to more bachelor parties at such places in my early 20's than I care to remember.  I worked with one guy who was a regular for decades, and one of my other engineer co-workers actually owned and ran a club of his own on the side.  Yeah, welcome to the south.  Except the club owning engineer was when I was working in the Mid West.

At the time, I was already going to nude beaches and resorts on my own without any of my friends knowing and I couldn't help but find strip clubs to be sad, perverted, side effects of how badly we've been conditioned to be averse to our own form, and how badly we treat and feel about our own sexuality.  I don't know if I felt sorrier for the girls or for my stupid friends.  Why on Earth would you go to see such a distorted representation of what half the human race looks like, showing off for you in ways to get you aroused, when you can't (or at least really shouldn't) be doing anything about it?  Especially around other guys?

I'm glad my peers out grew that.  I can't help but think if they were as used to seeing women as I did, as people, clothed or unclothed, that strip clubs wouldn't exist.  Perhaps someday, they won't exist.  I won't miss them.

Nudity and Sexuality

Well, I see that it's been way too long since I've contributed anything.  I finally have some time, so I'll give it a go...

If we're to convince others that being social nudity isn't sexual, we're going to have to face the 800 pound guerrilla that many, if not most, people do assume that it is. Most people seem to be terribly insecure about their own sexuality and they feel too threatened by other people's sexuality to be comfortable with the idea of being naked around others if they can't get their head wrapped around the whole subject of human sexuality itself first.

Our sexuality is something that's not totally within our control. When aroused, our inhibitions are suppressed, our judgment is clouded, and we find ourselves willing to do some pretty strange things to relieve the tension and to provide pleasure to ourselves and our partner. So it shouldn't be a surprise that most people don't want to tempt that reaction when they know it isn't appropriate. And at a nude beach or nudist venue, they quickly learn that it isn't appropriate, even if they aren't told explicitly that it isn't.

People assume that seeing others without clothing will arouse them, or disgust them, because they've been conditioned to have those reactions by our culture. We know those reactions aren't natural and don't occur once one simply gives it a try for more than a few moments. But other people don't know that and they're afraid of it.

The right attitude to project is that we're human and that we have nothing to be ashamed of for being human. Yes, we are male and female, tall and short, young and old, skinny and fat, and we come in many colors and body types. And isn't that wonderful! We're also sexual, but we're only sexual towards each other at certain times and places, and these aren't appropriate venues for that. So instead, we're just social towards each other no differently than we would be otherwise. And there's no reason why we shouldn't be.

Sexually Naked

To most people, their biggest problem with nudity is the culturally conditioned association with sex.  For something that we owe our very lives to, we degrade ourselves by degrading our sexuality, treating it in such a negative way.  We have kids we don't want and we host, spread, and evolve diseases unique to our sexual activities.  It's no wonder people are so uncomfortable about being naked and seeing other people naked.  Arousal makes us lose our inhibitions and clothing gets in the way of sexual activity, otherwise, most people would probably never be naked except to bathe alone.

Shedding my inhibitions about nudity helped me shed some of my inhibitions about my own sexuality.  I'm now very much at peace with both.  I like being naked for my wife as much as I do for myself.  As if to say that my body is hers always, and not just when I'm in the mood.   And I encourage her to be naked both for her own comfort, and to reinforce to her that I love her just the way she is.

Clothing is an artificial barrier between people.  Between what we are, and how we present ourselves to others.  It is good and right to hate that barrier.  To confidently feel good about oneself, and to seek social environments where others encourage it and challenge you to accept and encourage them as well.  Yes, to go that far with strangers takes some guts.  But to go that far with friends can be even more difficult.  They know that person underneath the skin, and sometimes it's harder to get to know them from the inside out, than from the outside in.  There's an awkward physical intimacy one must pass through between the two which is often awkwardly skipped.

But to have that barrier, even unintentionally, with one's spouse is wrong.  Your body belongs as much to your spouse, as it does with you.  Their imperfections are yours and to not unconditionally accept them as they are, is to not accept yourself as you are.   It's easy to be naked for your spouse when you're aroused, and it's nice to not have clothing in the way when you're trying to be physically intimate.   But at the very least, you should accept them as they are all the time and not hide your body from them.