How to ask, How to say, It's OK

I'm writing this from an apartment we're renting in Oregon.  It's a VRBO, detached from the host's house on 40 acres of hilly, heavily wooded property.  Very secluded and private, accessible only by a long winding driveway through the woods.  I can image the hosts not bothering wearing anything, anywhere on the property on warm days when they don't have guests.  If so, renting out the apartment on nice days like this would be a real drag.  They're usually gone during the day on weekdays, but they sometimes show up out of the blue.  So other than sunning myself on the upstairs deck where I wouldn't be seen and being able to hear them when they come up the drive, we've kept ourselves covered up.

Poking around the VRBO and AirBnB sites you'll find very few references to naturist friendly offerings.  I suspect that more owners would welcome such use, if only so they didn't have to remain clothed themselves.  But it's probably a turn-off to many potential guests if it was even hinted that the option was available.  And it would probably be a turn-off to the majority of owners if guests outright asked "can we be nude here"?".

I suppose I could kid around with the hosts and say something along the lines:  "Your property is so secluded that it must be hard to wear clothes on warm days around here".  That would probably be taken as a bit odd, yet not direct enough to trigger a give and take about whether they really use it that way, and whether we'd be welcome to do the same.

Thinking about that, how would I hint that the option was available without turning off other guests, assuming I couldn't afford to rent to just naturists?  Perhaps I'd just mention in the paperwork at the time of rental that the property is completely private and though we'd normally be casual about being undressed, that we'd remain clothed unless we were told it's OK for us not to be.  But that you, of course, are free to dress or undress to the level of your comfort here, anytime.  I suspect some guests would tell the owners that it's OK if they're nude, but would stay clothed themselves  While others might try being nude, but they'd prefer the owners not be.

At home, we have a whimsical sign posted on our patio about skinny-dipping.  It sometimes triggers guests to halfheartedly ask if we actually did that ourselves. When it does, we simply say yes.  That when we don't have guests over, we don't wear anything in the pool or hot tub, and leave it at that. A few guests have asked if they could join us that way, and they have.  Likewise, if a family comes over, the kids want to go swimming, but drat, they didn't bring their swimsuits, we say it's OK that don't wear anything and leave it at that.  Sometimes the kids get to skinny-dip, but most of the time their parents don't let them.  Probably because they don't want their kids to even think that's a legitimate option.

I'm usually more direct and usually have a "Clothing Optional Zone" sign posed.  But my wife usually puts it away when we know we're having guests.  My sister-in-law often comes by the house to look in on things when we're away.  She knows we only use the pool and tub that way, and that I love to lay out in the back yard naked.  So when we leave, I remind her that she's free to use the pool and be out in the yard anytime, but that it would be a shame if she didn't take advantage of being naked there when we're gone.  I don't know if she's ever taken advantage of that, but I know the kids have when we were away,.  At least individually, until they left the nest.

Dealing with Guests

Whenever we have house guests, I'm reminded how much work it is for those who hide themselves in their own homes all the time.  Doors have to be closed when one is changing, sleeping, or getting in or out of the shower, you have to be "properly" dressed all the times, and don't get me started on having to wear a bathing suit in the pool and hot tub with them :(  What a drag!

My wife is much more likely to "out" me when people unexpectedly drop in, than I am with her.  She'll just say I'm out back, naked, sunning himself, working in the yard, or swimming.  She'll then come get me (meaning she'll ask that I at least put a towel around myself before I come in).  I'm pretty sure that if they were to say it wouldn't bother them, she'd just let them come out and I'd be perfectly fine with it.

On the rare occasion that a neighbor or delivery person has gone through the fence and run into me naked, I've acted no differently than if I were clothed and let it be on them for coming in unannounced.

One of my wife's sisters lives nearby and stops by often.  I expect that one of these times she'll intentionally go out back, knowing I'm naked.  She'll try to make fun of me, and I'll stop getting dressed when she's around.  So there.

We have had a few guests who when told that we normally would be nude in the pool or tub, have asked if they could join us that way.  Likewise, once that's over with, them being nude and us being nude is OK thereafter.

Review: Cypress Cove Nudist Resort

I've been going to Cypress Cove in nearby Kissimmee Florida off and on for around 30 years.  I returned from a nice day visit there today and I realized that I've never talked about it in this blog.  I had written about it in a series of Geocities web pages I authored back in the day when that service was still in business.  But apparently not here.

A few things have changed about the place.  But thankfully, not much.  It used to be in a very rural area south of town surrounded by low end trailer parks and campsites.  Now, it's directly off a four lane divided highway with the nicely manicured entrance at a traffic light directly across from the local Lowes superstore.  The sign now just says "Cypress Cove" (not mentioning it's a nudist resort).  But that's OK.  The locals all know what it is, and they're fine with it being there.

They've added another pool and some nice shops, but they're hemmed in on all sides and I assume they can't afford to buy any of the adjacent properties.  Even so, it's pretty big.  Hundreds of people live there in mid to high end manufactured homes.  Most of the homes are meticulously landscaped and well maintained by their owners.  There's lots of room for visiting and seasonal RVs (it's pretty full now), and they have have several modern condo style buildings with rooms for visitors who aren't equipped for or desiring campground accommodations.  Add to that a well equipped gym, lots of outdoor sports facilities, a big pool side bar and grill in it's own building, and a fancy restaurant on their nice little lake.

It still has the look and feel of a mature, efficient, well kept up and well run local family owned place that isn't trying to weird or different.  Instead, it just looks and feels like a second home to those of us who live in and visit the area.

That said, I had a rocky start with them.  In my early 20's after having gone to several nude beaches, I decided to give them a call to see if I could visit their establishment.  I was given the cold shoulder and pretty much told that as a single male, I wasn't welcome.  That turned me off to the point that it was another year or so before I tried a different, more single male friendly club.  Only years later, as an "affiliated" visitor with AANR membership and an established membership in the "travel club" that supported Playalinda Beach on the Atlantic coast east of them, did I call again and was finally welcome to visit.

After several visits, they gave me a reference number to use that pretty much waves me in anytime I want to visit, even though I haven't kept up my memberships elsewhere.

The patrons there are mostly middle aged or retired, which suits me more now than it did back then.  Very laid back and friendly, but not a lot of younger people there with their families.

Today's visit was the opposite of the deprivation chamber experience I talked about a couple of weeks ago.  Sunny, mid-70's, nice breeze.  Perfect.  Deliciously sensual without anyone feeling uncomfortable with anyone.  No (obvious) swingers and though nudity is expected everywhere, it's only rigidly enforced (as with most clubs) around and in the pool and hot tubs.

It's a great place to introduce middle age and above non-nudists to what it's all about.  Young adults would probably enjoy going with a group like the Florida Young Naturists to a club like Sunsport Gardens in South Florida, that caters to the younger crowd who aren't looking for or needing fancy facilities.

Beach Review: Blind Creek Beach (Florida)

My weekends have been pretty busy and I haven't had much chance to visit any nude beaches or clubs for several months.  Last month for my birthday, my wife suggested that we spend the day at Haulover Beach (a very nice clothing optional beach near Miami).  But Haulover makes for a long day trip from here.  Other things came up, so we visited one of the wonderful spring state parks in the middle of the state instead (highly recommended, albeit a clothed venue).

The wife's out of town for a couple of weeks on a road trip with her sister, so today I thought I'd check out a new beach I recently read about that's a lot closer to home (not wanting to disappoint her if it turns out not to have much nude use, or is too sketchy).  Blind Creek Beach is a county run beach on the Atlantic Ocean, near Fort Pierce, Florida, about half way down the east coast of the state.  It's only been in use for a couple of years, but boy was I impressed!

I'll let the Treasure Coast Naturists tell the story of their role in making it possible.  Kudos to them!

Driving down from the north around 11 AM, I passed the north parking lot which they recommended only as an overflow lot.  The clothing optional section is between the north and south lots, and they said most of the nude use would be near the south end.  The north lot had quite a few cars, but I figured the textile locals where probably using that end and it would be a long walk south before running into people using the beach nude.  North of the beach is expensive condos and subdivisions with fancy public beaches nearby.  All the more reason to head for the south lot.

The south lot was pretty full, which dashed my hopes that there would be any nude use there.  It's a primitive beach, but the county had done a good job of making it acceptable.  I expected only to find a few people after your typical long walk up or down from the beach access trail.  But nooo...  At the end of the trail there were nude people everywhere as far as one could see in both directions, including right at the end of the access trail.  No one even bothered to post a "Beyond this point you may encounter nude bathers" sign (one was posted on the access trail later in the day).  For that matter, no one had bothered to take the option and was clothed except to walk to or from the parking lot.  So exactly who was there who needed to be warned?

It was sunny, warm (low 80's), and was forecast was for it to stay that way.  I found a nice spot not too far from the access trail.  From the deep tans everywhere and the relaxed atmosphere, it was obvious that the beach had matured nicely.  That said, a couple of things were a bit too cavalier.  I walked far to the south and people there were walking into the active nuclear power plant's property.  Yeah, the state owns up to the high water mark and the nude walkers seem to be respecting that.  But I suspect that security there would be touchy about it.

Likewise, instead of people staying south of the north entrance, they had spread well to the north as far as you could see, which was supposed to be "clothing required" territory.  Nobody seemed to care, including people walking in from either entrance with their families.  They joined in as if everyone in the area knew what the deal was.  Two big thumbs up!

I made some small talk with a few people near my spot.  But like most of the nude beaches I've been to here in the US, most people tended to keep to themselves.  Which is a shame.  Also, while the Treasure Coast Naturists sponsored a couple of potta-potties, which wouldn't have been there otherwise, they didn't have an obvious presence to disseminate information, tell others about upcoming events, or to collect donations for their expenses.  Hopefully more people will join and help.

Degrees of Being a Nudist

Saying it that way makes it sound like "degrees of deviant behavior" instead of looking at it from my prospective of "degrees of being free of clothing compulsiveness", which challenges the alternative as being the unhealthy behavior.

Be that as it may, I was listening recently to the latest episode of the excellent Naturist Living Show podcast, Architecture of Nudism and Naturism, and it got me thinking as to what are the levels of involvement different people have with nudism and naturism?  Thinking about it, I came up with the following levels.  Many of them overlap and you might find yourself more in one category or the other, depending on your situation.  Either way, where do you see yourself?  And what "levels" would you define?

Intolerant of Nudity:  Unfortunately this is the position of many state and local governments here in the US to the point that they pass laws that define in excruciating detail what's acceptable and what's illegal.  Sometimes to the point of making you register as a sex offender if you're convicted of such a heinous crime.  Very few people are as personally intolerant about nudity as these laws are.  Even so, some people call the police when they see someone skinny-dipping, even in the remotest location.  They see what their own species looks like as being fundamentally immoral and it's their duty to report any transgression.  They object to any full display of the human form in art, movies, and TV, and consider any such display as being pornographic and obscene.  Those people need to get a life. Fortunately, though many people assume more people are that strict about it, very few people actually are.

Nude Averse:  These people actively avoid nudity whenever possible.   When they run into people skinny-dipping, stumble onto a nude beach, or go to a gym where people are too casual about nudity in the gym locker rooms or showers, they leave and they don't come back.  They avoid visiting family members who are casual about the nudity of their children.   They change the channel and cover the eyes of their children when nudity is depicted on the TV or in movies.  These people probably don't sleep naked , they get dressed right after they bathe, and they close and lock the door to prevent their kids from walking in when they're not dressed.  And they teach their kids to do likewise.  They've probably never skinny-dipped, or at least they'd never admit that they had.
  
Nude Tolerant:  Most Americans probably fall into this category today.  While they wouldn't visit a nude beach or nudist resort themselves, it's OK with them if others do.  They don't mind changing and showering at the gym.  Showering, that is, in a stall, not communally.  They don't mind too much if others in the sauna are sitting on their towels instead of sitting with the towel around them, like they do.   They don't mind their friend's kids running around naked in their house, but they wouldn't let their kids do that.  They sleep naked if they want to and they don't scream at their kids if they walk in on them when they aren't dressed.  But they're careful to not have that happen too often.  They've probably skinny-dipped and don't mind saying they have as a "youthful indiscretion", but it's not something they'd do now.  They ignore nudity on in the media and don't go out of their way to shield their kids from it, but they think it's unnecessary and they wish there wasn't so much of it.  They think they're more liberal about it than they think most good people are.  So out of respect for them, they don't object and might even vote for restrictive ordinances.

Casual about Nudity:  These people don't mind using communal showers and they're the ones sitting on their towel in the sauna.  If friends want to skinny-dip in a remote location or in a private pool or hot tub, they'll go along with it.  They probably swim naked in their own pool when the kids aren't around.  They don't give sleeping naked a second thought and they probably air dry after bathing or swimming and do light chores naked without feeling any need to hurry to get dressed.  They don't mind if their kids run around naked for a while after their bath.  They have an open door policy and behave no differently when their kids walk in on them naked than if they were clothed.  They can be talked into going to a nude beach or a nudist resort with a close friend, but they don't want others to know if they went.  They'll probably just check that off their bucket list and not come back on their own.  That describes how I was raised.

Home Nudist:  This person prefers being nude whenever they can be.  Like anyone else, when they're home for the night and not going anywhere, they like getting comfortable.  But they've discovered that removing ALL of their clothes is even more comfortable than just removing some of them, and they don't see any reason not to be nude at home.  They've skinny-dipped and been to nude beaches often enough that they hate wearing swim suits.  They do chores and projects around the house nude, and if their back yard is private enough, they'll garden, sunbathe, and swim nude if they own a pool.  They don't mind if their neighbors and family know, but they respect other people's discomfort with it and are careful not to expose them to it.  That describes me most days.

Recreational/Social Nudist:  This person enjoys going to nude beaches and nudist clubs and resorts not only to enjoy the expanded opportunities to be nude, but to make friends and to meet people.  They're friendly, engage in volleyball and other group sports there, and other people like being around them.  But unless they live nearby, you don't see them there that often.  They don't let it interfere with the rest of their life.  That describes me.

Philosophical Naturist:   Someone who thinks being nude and accepting others who are nude helps one to be a better person.  That society demonizing nudity has psychologically and sociologically damaged us, and that we'd all be better off if we'd take a healthier attitude. They may or may not be naked as often as others are.  They don't see themselves as just being a nudist (as in one who just likes being naked).  Which is why I prefer the term "naturist" for myself.

Card Carrying/Activist Nudist:  This person is a member of clubs and organizations not just for the discounts.  They come to meetings, participate in outreach, write blogs, do volunteer work at their club, and aren't afraid to tell others all about.   That used to describe me, but distance and the other distractions of life have limited me to this blog and answering questions on Yahoo and Quora.

Living It:  These people live and often work 24/7 nude as much as they can.  Either they live alone and don't have a lot of visitors, or they live in a nudist community and are rarely clothed unless they have to go into town.  Visiting friends and family have to put with their host being nude.  They dress at home for no one.

Time to launch this.  I'll check back later and clean it up.  Comment if you like.  Look for a poll on this subject on the page.

Mazo Beach Revisited

Though I live in Florida, about 15 years ago I did a 5 year stint in the Midwest.  By then, I was already going to different nude beaches and resorts, so I looked up where to go there.  Mazo Beach in Wisconsin was about a 3 hour drive away from where I was working.  It was a long day trip or an easy overnighter, so I started going for several weekends over the summers I was there.

I loved the place and the people, but life once again intervened and I was back in Florida and rarely had a chance to be back up that way for any length of time.  Except this weekend.  I had to be up there on Monday, so I came up on Friday and spent the weekend touring Wisconsin and spending today (Sunday) at Mazo.

It used to be that you could park at the end or along the road if the lot was full (which it usually was unless you got there very early).  Now the only people who can use that lot are the disabled who have requested and received keys to the gate.d  For everyone else, it's a 20 minute walk from a thankfully large parking lot.

I got there around 9 AM, driving up from Madison, wanting to spend a full day there.  It was sunny and in the 70's (it was pushing 100 a lot the weeks before).  People started to arrive slowly, spreading out and not talking to each other much.  But as the day wore on, there were easily over 200 people there and things got pretty lively.  The volleyball net was strung up and a long string of spirited games began.  The mix started off mostly male, but by afternoon, there was a good mix of couples, including a few families with young kids.  A very nice happy crowd.

I used to be painfully shy, but these days I make it a point to start up casual conversations, which I did with several people.  There was a young couple on the fringe who came in on kayaks scoping the place out.  They were there the whole afternoon.  Him clothed, her only topless.  I stopped by welcoming them and encourage them to walk around, clothed being fine, and just listen.  Others came by and were also very friendly to them.  Maybe next time they'll take the plunge.

By 3 PM, it was getting cloudy with some sprinkles, and I had a long drive back to where I had to be on Monday.  Even though some had already left, the disabled lot was crammed full of bicycles, the large parking lot at the end of the long walk was full, and outside the reserve, there were calls parked up and down the street on both sides for some distance.

I'm glad to see Mazo is still much the same.  Wonderful!

Nude Beaches

Nude Beaches are strange and wonderful places.  Mythical to people who have never been to one, but mentioned often enough in the media and in hush tones by people who have heard something about them (but would never go there themselves, mind you!).

I'm here to tell you that yes Virginia, they do exist.  In many countries, a large percentage of public beaches have clothing optional sections, or are simply just mixed.  In some places, nude use is allowed except where it's posted that it isn't.  Otherwise, relax, get comfortable, and enjoy.

Here in the US, it's a mixed bag.  "Officially" the culture is wary to even hostile to them.  But in many places, the locals take a live and let live attitude, sometimes even defending the beaches.  In some states, counties, and communities, it's technically illegal to be naked in public.  But even in many of those places, the authorities often just look the other way as it's just too much trouble to police them.  In other areas, they're technically legal and they're often accepted by the majority of people in the area.

Most are in out of the way primitive areas.  Lousy parking, long walks, no facilities, no water.  If you don't know where to go, you're not going to find them.  Out of sight, out of mind as far as the locals and the authorities are concerned.  Others are well known and not at all difficult to get to.  For others, just follow the signs (by name, not by reference to them being nude beaches).  One, Haulover Beach north of Miami Beach, is right off the main drag, has food vendors, police patrol, lifeguards, and hotels within walking distance.  All the amenities you'd expect for a county run park, without a large and official clothing optional section (where most the people go, of course).

Some of the smaller ones aren't that friendly (I'll leave you alone and you leave me alone).  But most of the larger ones have a core of regulars who are usually friendly and are easy to approach.  As with any beach, the vibe varies depending on the mix of people there and how accepted the beach is.  Wreck Beach on the outskirts of the University of British Columbia (Canada) has a festive college crowd, wild scenery, and in short, is wonderful.  Mazo Beach (Wisconsin) is my favorite.  Many college kids, but also long tradition of use by people and families from all over the state.  Along a nice river and the people I've met there are very friendly and fun loving.

I live near the Canaveral National Seashore in central Florida.  The southern half is in a county with an anti-nudity ordinance (not enforced much), and the northern half is in a county that doesn't have an ordinance.  In either county, if you stay in the unofficial clothing optional section, they'll leave you alone.  Some years ago in the southern county (Brevard) the supervisor of the park had it out for the nudies and tried to make us feel very unwelcome.  I tried to strike up a conversation with a ranger there one time and he wouldn't even face me, saying only that he'd answer my question after I got dressed.

But on the north side I was there one time when a young ranger intern approached me.  She must have drawn the short straw and was not at all comfortable being there.  She had the unpopular task to clear the beach due to an approaching hurricane (several days out) of hundreds of naked people who weren't going to be happy to be told that they had to leave.

I had a nice chat with her trying to put her mind at ease, then I told her that I would help.  I went up and down the beach explaining to everyone the unpopular order, pointing to her at a distance without dragging her into it.  Everyone left, and I got the feeling that the ranger left leave her internship there with fond memories and a better understanding that yes, we are people too.

If you spend much time some of the better beaches, you'll see a lot of magic.  Church groups canoeing by, then turning around to play several games of volleyball with the naked people (Mazo).  Long naked hikes on endless miles of undeveloped beach, smiling and waving at clothed people passing by on horseback (Canaveral).  Listening to an elderly couple trying it for the first time, overhearing them say that they hadn't felt that young in years and how wonderful it was there (Haulover).  Kids playing.  People surfing.  People fishing.  Gays, straights, young, old, regulars, and first timers.  Everyone having a great time.

It is what you make of it.  Smile, be friendly, help others.  Make some magic.

What should you do if someone sees you when you are naked?

Nothing.  Do absolutely nothing different than you would do if you were clothed.  Normally, it goes like this...  They see you and realize that you're not wearing anything.  Until they know that you see them, their initial reaction is just one of curiosity.  Why is that person naked?   Should I leave before that person sees me and is distressed.   Then you see them and behave in a distressed manner.  They see your distress and either are distressed themselves for being in that situation, are distressed for you, or in some cases, delight in your distress and attempt to further it.

It works out much better for both of you if they see that you see them, and you make it obvious that you don't care.  That leaves them with the curiosity and maybe some worry that you might be weird, but if you don't act weird, it puts them at ease.  Continue doing what you were doing, showing that it doesn't bother you in the least that you're naked or that they are seeing you naked.

This works great when you're caught skinny-dipping or camping in a remote area which turned out to not be remote enough.  If you're in an area where nudity is technically not illegal, you aren't doing anything wrong and you should behave as if you have a right to be there in the nude.  If you're not supposed to be nude there, appear harmless and oblivious to your nudity, hoping for ignorance on their part, or at least some forgiveness.  Besides, if you're out in a remote area, it's too much trouble for them to report you, and by then you could be long gone.

Smile, wave, and go about your business.  You'll be surprised at how many people just smile, wave back, and continue on.

On Being Seen from Airplanes

When I first tried sunbathing naked in a remote location, it bothered me when an airplane would fly overhead.  Could they see me?  Could they tell I was naked?  Worrying about such things is a distraction to enjoying oneself in remote locations, nude beaches, nude resorts, or even in one's own back yard.

As an active private pilot, I have a unique perspective on this.  I've flown over many of the nudist resorts and nude beaches I've been to here in Florida at the minimum legal altitudes allowed, so I can safely say, the answer is no!  Even if you know where to look and what you're looking for, you can't tell if the people you can see below are clothed or not.  To get the same effect, go to Google Earth, ask it to find a nudist resort (yeah, it will), and go zoom down to about 1000 feet above and try to make out if the people are naked or not.  Yes, you can tell they're people, but you can't make out what or if they're wearing anything.

If, by some chance, an airplane or helicopter is low enough to tell what you're wearing, as if they don't have other things to be looking out for when they're that low with the ground so rapidly going by, they can get in real big trouble for being that low.  If you can read their "N" number without binoculars, Google it, look up who owns the airplane, report them to the FAA and their employer, and you can easily get them fired or their license suspended.

Besides, YOU'RE not doing anything wrong!  They are if they're that low.  Yes, the police can fly low if they have reason to, but their chief is not going to take lightly a call from a citizen complaining that they're being gawked at from the air.

So... If an airplane keeps buzzing by low, reach for binoculars.  If they can see that you're naked, they can see that you're looking through something and they'll know they're in big big trouble.  Otherwise, simile, wave, moon them, or shoot them the bird.  Or just ignore them altogether.  Very likely, even if they are too low, they'll never see you, and you shouldn't care.

Sunbathing Naked

Depending on your local culture, nude sunbathing varies from being common, at least in private, to being rare to non-existent.  When I was a teenager, we wound up with a girl from France for a or week or so.  She was an exchange student who had never visited the US before and wasn't familiar with our "particularities".  Within a few days, the sunny warm Florida sun was inviting so she decided borrow a beach towel and lay out in the sun out in our back yard.... Naked.  I noticed but didn't say anything.  But when my mother saw her out there, she went crazy.   She ran out waving a towel, screaming.  The girl was alarmed and confused by my mothers actions.  What do you mean, you can't sunbathe naked in your own back yard?  I might add that we didn't have a fence and neighbors from all sides could have easily seen her.

One of my priorities is to maintain the privacy of my back yard, and I enjoy getting some sun back there when I can, and the most comfortable way to do it is to be naked.  It's not that I lay out in the sun all day.  I know that's not good for you.  Rather, I work all week indoors and am often busy on the weekends, so I'm lucky to get any sun, which is kind of silly given how sunny and warm it is here in Florida most of the year.  Hence, most of the time I have little or no tan.  Certainly less than most people here.  But in the summer months when I can get out there for an hour or so at a time, my tan can get pretty dark.  My tan so even that you'd think I didn't even have a tan but that it's my natural skin coloring.  And personally, I like the evenly colored look.  Tan lines seem so garish and artificial, and the sun and wind feel so nice, unbroken across one's skin.

I doubt people even notice that I'm evenly tanned when they see me changing at the gym or when the doctor's checking me out down there.  If they do, I hope they wonder and at least for a moment stop to consider what it would be like if they could do likewise.