Practically Naked (Part 1)

Maybe if I allow myself to post shorter messages, I'll do it more often.  But I'll still write something longer than I'd post to G+ by itself.

Part 1 is one meaning of the phrase "practically naked".  Part 2 is another meaning.  Here, I mean being almost naked.  I find that to be very awkward.  It's that gray zone between being properly dressed, and just being yourself (i.e. naked).  Whether it's being shirtless where it's not accepted, or being seen in your underwear.  Either way, it makes other people uncomfortable and they don't accept it much more than if you were naked.  So why not be naked instead?

I don't know.  I suppose it feels awkward to me to be "inadequately dressed" because there is something I should have or could have done about it.  Naked, I'm just me and I don't worry about being anything other than what I am when I'm free of my clothes.

I personally also find it awkward to be examined or left in a doctor's office wearing only my underwear.  Or worse yet, a gown that's open in back.  They, I assume, think they're doing me a favor.  They're not.  I'd be a lot more at ease if I were naked.  Instead, I'm left feeling that they could be missing something that's covered up in the exam, or that they've rushed through too quickly because they don't want to make me feel uncomfortable when they "peek" at those areas most people are uncomfortable showing.

Either way, it annoys me that I'm still so residually conditioned that I should care when I'm dressed inappropriately, when I'd not when I'm not dressed at all.  Either way, it makes other people uncomfortable, and I don't mean to do that.

Outreach

Sure, some people are curious and run into our web sites, blogs, and forums.  But for the most part, the general public doesn't hardly know we exist.  To them, we're a fringe group.  Something they've heard about, mostly as a butt of jokes, without a reason to investigate further.

Those of us who have tried social nudity know how odd it is that people have allowed themselves to be so conditioned to be ashamed, unaccepting, offended, and just plain uncomfortable to be what they and other people simply are.  Being naked in a social non-sexual environment is not only easy, but liberating, relaxing, accepting, friendly, practical, and yes, very comfortable and sensual.

Groups like Florida Young Naturists and Young Naturists America do a good job at offering young people the opportunity to try it.  I've met several of them and they're wonderful people.  If I were them, I'd be visiting college campuses, leaving leaflets, and doing meet and greets.  Man a booth at an art show and various other events.  Hell, set up a stall at a flea market.  Many won't let you set up, but if you push the boundaries and hold your ground, some of them will let you be there.  Most likely, your booth will be popular and if you're well behaved, you'll be welcome to come back.   I've seen AANR set up at outdoors and travel events, and they do fine.  When I see them, I go out of my way to stop by and thank them for their efforts.

Yes, these groups are on Facebook and do meet-ups.  But people still have to look to find them.  I'm not in a position to be promoting naturism directly, but I have found one outlet that allows me to introduce the idea and to challenge other's opinions on the subject.  I answer questions on Yahoo Answers, pulled up from keywords of naked, nude, nudist, and naturist.  Most of the questions related to the first two categories are related to sex and relationships.  Most of those are from teenagers and people with other problems.  But sometimes I even answer some of their questions.  A serious answer even to a stupid question gets read by other people, even if the asker isn't interested in my response.

Others do the same.  Some are official spokesmen for organizations.   Some are club owners or officers in various organizations.  But a few of us are just individuals, doing it out of a sense of trying to educate others.  And sometimes, just to amuse ourselves.

Hats off to those others who are trying to help.  You know who you are.  Thank you!

The Closet

The Closet

I find it very annoying to be in the closet about being a nudist. When I was single, it was easy to control access to that little bit of information about me. With women I dated, I was very open and up front about my preferring to be naked when I could be, that I enjoy going to nude beaches, that I've visited many nudist resorts, and that I was a member of local and national organizations (making me a “card carrying” nudist, I suppose). I had a cousin and his wife who were open with family about them being nudists and raising their son that way. And I had other cousins who had casually mentioned that they've visited various clubs. Even so, I've found that I'm very guarded about who I share that information with. Other than one sister, no one else in my family knows.

In my 30's, I did mention it to my older sister who I'm close to. She not only found it interesting, but asked if I could take her to a club sometime to see what it's like. Several months later, I did, and she enjoyed it. But for her, it was more of a bucket list kind of thing and I doubt she took up up on her own.

When I started dating my wife, she seemed to see it as just some sort of harmless quirk. As private as I am about it, she isn't. Not in a big way, since she's involved with conservative politics, and that's not the sort of thing we do, right? She casually told her mother early on that I like being naked, to which she responded that I might be a nudist (ya think?), like it was no big deal.  If only she knew that I was and am.

The wife is pretty casual (even careless from my point of view) about mentioning to people that we sleep and swim naked and that I like to lay out in the back yard in the sun that way. Because of that, even though our back yard is fenced in and private, our neighbors know. On one side, I don't think they like it but they're quiet about it. The neighbor on the other side has taken to doing the same with his wife (privately and not with us). But neither knows that I'm an actual "nudist".

My wife came complete with two young kids who've become successful adults. The kids knew their mother slept naked long before I came along, and they accepted as a quirk that we enjoy swimming and using the hot tub that way (shunning the invitations to join us). Over time they came to know of my past (and present) and they're fine with it.

Even so, it would be nice to be “out” the rest of the way. My mother and the rest of my family probably wouldn't mind, but some of our friends and my co-workers probably wouldn't accept it and it would impact negatively on my job and her friends.

Strange. I know several gay friends who are out of the closet, and it's wonderful for them to be “out”. But this isn't something I am, other than being human. It's just that I happen to like being human.

Nudity and Sexuality

Well, I see that it's been way too long since I've contributed anything.  I finally have some time, so I'll give it a go...

If we're to convince others that being social nudity isn't sexual, we're going to have to face the 800 pound guerrilla that many, if not most, people do assume that it is. Most people seem to be terribly insecure about their own sexuality and they feel too threatened by other people's sexuality to be comfortable with the idea of being naked around others if they can't get their head wrapped around the whole subject of human sexuality itself first.

Our sexuality is something that's not totally within our control. When aroused, our inhibitions are suppressed, our judgment is clouded, and we find ourselves willing to do some pretty strange things to relieve the tension and to provide pleasure to ourselves and our partner. So it shouldn't be a surprise that most people don't want to tempt that reaction when they know it isn't appropriate. And at a nude beach or nudist venue, they quickly learn that it isn't appropriate, even if they aren't told explicitly that it isn't.

People assume that seeing others without clothing will arouse them, or disgust them, because they've been conditioned to have those reactions by our culture. We know those reactions aren't natural and don't occur once one simply gives it a try for more than a few moments. But other people don't know that and they're afraid of it.

The right attitude to project is that we're human and that we have nothing to be ashamed of for being human. Yes, we are male and female, tall and short, young and old, skinny and fat, and we come in many colors and body types. And isn't that wonderful! We're also sexual, but we're only sexual towards each other at certain times and places, and these aren't appropriate venues for that. So instead, we're just social towards each other no differently than we would be otherwise. And there's no reason why we shouldn't be.

What does it mean to be a "Nudist"?

Personally, I don't like the label.  But by default it's the only one that fits what other's would call it.  To me, it just means I'm human.  I like being human.  I'm fine with what I look like, and I'm fine with what other people look like.   The alternative is to be disguised, augmented, ashamed, insecure, and taking offense at others being simply what they are.  Naked, I'm me.  It's my default condition.  My baseline.  It is what I am.  Part of my environment, rather than unevenly and cruelly cut off from it.  Why should only my feet be free of their prison when I come home?  Why am I the "different"one when it's you guys who can't just be yourselves?

Nudity is another useless term.  So is "naked".  A naked person is simply a person.  Nudity is nothing more than people being what they are.  It isn't a modifier describing that person like clothing is.

Is it OK to let your kids sleep nude?

Would age or gender play a factor?  This was a question recently asked on Yahoo Answers, but I didn't get to answer in time.  I haven't made a blog entry for a while, so here goes:

Yes, it's OK to let your kids sleep nude.  Age and gender are irrelevant.  And not just because it's comfortable and there's nothing wrong with them doing so, but because they should at least be offered the choice.  Think about it this way.  They start off preferring to be naked as often as they get away with it when they're young.  And they don't mind in the least if other people, including adults are naked.  But you have to socialize them into the culture, so through complete immersion and constant pressure, you condition them to be insecure about themselves, ashamed and embarrassed to be what they are, and offended by what other people are.  Just like everyone else.

Worse yet, maybe because you've been so over conditioned yourself, you reinforce this bizarre behavior even in  your own home.  The one place where they should feel unconditionally loved and accepted, showing absolute trust and respect to others in the family, you continue to grind into them that they're not just fine, as they are.

Worse yet, you would send the signal to them that it's improper to be what they are even in the privacy of their own bed when they aren't bothering anyone else?  You would rather they be less comfortable and have their shame and insecurity be that complete?  Gee thanks Dad!

Our kids never had to wonder if they had a choice.  Both my wife and I have always slept naked, and they've always known that.  If I had to do it over again, unless we had guests over, I wouldn't bring PJs for them to change into after their baths.  They'd know where they are and would know that it's required of them if we have guests over.  But if they don't want to go get them and put them on, they don't have to.  And it would be OK to stay that way until they had to get dressed for school, if they wanted to.

Strange, but with the kids gone, I find I behave that way myself these days.  By not doing so when they were still in the house, I feel that I set a bad example for them.  But I would at least have reminded them that they had a choice how they slept.  

The Politics of Social Nudity

My personal politics is "conservative".  I'm for limited government and maximum liberty.  I trend toward being a libertarian, but I just can't get my head wrapped around legalizing all drugs.  But I can and do embrace the concept that people should be free to express themselves in any manner that they like, as long as they don't infringe on the rights of others.  Where I disagree with many is that I don't see how someone being naked, which is after all just expressing themselves, as themselves, violates other people's "right" not to see or hear things they don't personally want to see or hear.  Too bad.  The price of freedom is mutual respect and tolerance.

So maybe people won't be allowed to wander the streets without any clothes on in most cities, but there should be enough places locally where people can go to be outdoors without their clothing, that it could be said that their rights were at least being respected.  Let the size and accessibility of those areas be proportional to the number of people who use them, and people will vote with their feet.  If no one comes, shrink the space allocated and give other uses the more prime locations.  But if many people come, expand and mainstream the places where people can be naked together.

The problem on the right side of the spectrum is we have too many people who really want a theocracy.  To me, that's just fascism by another name.  And on the left, they're all to quick to grant "harmless" freedoms as a means of distracting people from realizing that they really have no real freedoms whatsoever.  East Germany is a good example.  The government not only allowed, but encouraged nudism to flourish, all the while controlling almost every other aspect of the people's lives.  The guiding principle on the left is "we know what's good for you".  Those governments always start off with the "good of the people" in mind, later winding up with "what's good for the government" as their only concern.